Request Responses
October/05/2009 01:39 PM Filed in: Humor | Moms | Fun | Family | Husbands | Satire | Nicole Hanratty | Life of a Rock Star
by Nicole Hanratty
Over the years, I have learned that a wife and mother's job description really knows no boundaries. Whether it is wiping tushies, refilling kleenex boxes, cleaning up trails of vomit, making costumes, baking cookies, selling raffle tickets, purchasing gifts for random strangers or driving from here to Chicago in search of the right sport shoes, there seems to be no limit of what my loved ones will request of me after they spout the word "Honey" or "Mom."
Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change hearing these terms of endearment for anything else in the world. It is the dragged out slow question forming ending to the word "Honey" and "Mom" that gives me pause. Here it comes, what will they ask of me next?
A few moments pass before they throw the request at me, enticing me to agree that it is indeed my name and forcing--some would argue tricking--me to nod my head in agreeance before the clever ones pitch their next curve ball.
On occasion, I can hit it out of the park. "Mommmmmm? (Dramatic pause. I nod in agreement.) Can you fill out this picture form this morning? It isn't due until next week but I get extra credit if I bring it back today. (Look at the clock. Five minutes until carpool honks.) Check off the box for the cheapest standard package--we all know the picture will wind up in a drawer anyhow--and jot down the (thankfully) memorized credit card number. Done. Home-run and no sweat.
Then there are the less attainable requests, but none-the-less ones with which I can still help. "Honeeeeeeeeeey? (Short pause until I acknowledge this sweet man.) "We are out of waters." (See empty refrigerator above.) While I can fill it, I can't make it cold instantly and I know that all my dear hubby is after is a cold glass of aqua. I inform him he will have to resort to the old fashioned way of chilling water at home via ice cubes splashed in sink water and let him know that he is welcome to refill the refrigerator with more bottles of water while he is standing there.
Lastly, there are the impossible to respond to calmly requests. "Mommmmmmm?" (I am nodding--as yes, that is my name--while I am packing lunches, doing morning dishes, wiping up the floor, clearing off the table, and packing backpacks with only moments to spare before the school bell rings.) "There's a fly in my bathroom." Well, needless to say, I don't think anyone will be informing me of that again anytime soon.
Au revoir for now...n
