Weekend 100 Countdown: Week of October 6, 2012 “One More Night on the Campaign Trail”
September/29/2012 11:27 AM
Weekend 100 Countdown: Week of October 6, 2012
Saturday Satire Style
Brought to you by @LifeofaRockStar
One more week it’s “One More Night” in the No. 1 slot on Billboard’s Top 100.
Ready for some Saturday Satire and to catch up with the music countdown? With politics heating up…we thought we would devote this week’s countdown to that final hour when there is only “One More Night on the Campaign Trail.” Life of a Rock Star™ aspires to poke equal fun at both the left and right and avoid the middle at all costs. All quotes are fake, contrived and satirical. The over riding theme should be interpreted as none other than VOTE.
(Source: Billboard.com Hot 100 Week of October 6, 2012)
Song titles are in bold starting from #100 counting down to #1…enjoy!
Life of a Rock Star™ presents “One More Night on the Campaign Trail”
On this election-eve President Obama was asked why he decided to run for re-election. He replied, “I Did It For The Girl who lost her medical insurance because Romney earmarked those funds for Beer Money. I like beer as much as the next guy and Nobody’s Perfect, but let’s not go Numb to the uninsurable. BTW - my Heart Skips a Beat when I think of the Bag Of Money donated to my campaign by Obamacare supporters.”
Mitt Romney was asked also why he decided to run for office. He replied, “After planning the Winter Olympics, I missed the spotlight Shinin’ On Me. So what if burning oil is spewing Radioactive particles into the environment, I stand by my assertion that you can’t drive a car with a windmill strapped to the roof. Til My Last Day I want people to see how handsome I am and remember that when it comes to good looking candidates, Tonight (Best You Ever Had) is me.” (Teeth sparkle.)
With only hours to go until votes are cast, Romney supporters are regretting calling a 5-1-5-0 on the Tea Party and republicans are crossing their fingers voters don’t Take A Walk too far down memory lane back when Romney called 47% of them victims. They’ve had Enough Of No Love from the media and hope their Beautiful candidate will get a chance to Dive In and fix the economy For You. And if that doesn’t attract your vote, they got Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol to Dance For You.
Obama Finally Found You a copy of his birth certificate AKA Celebration of his Hawaiian birth asserting with Presidential authority that the two are virtually the same thing. Democrats are hoping as you head to the poles you won’t notice that America is treading in Swimming Pools of debt. They are also hoping they’ve persuaded voters to have No Worries about the Madness of the generation crushing debt Creepin’ up on us.
With only hours to campaign, Romney will spend the evening batting his Angel Eyes. He’s got his campaign cash in his hand and he won’t Put It Down until the election is Over. He insists he has no Dark Side.
Kids across America are begging their parents to vote for Romney telling their parents, “I Don’t Like the vegetables Mrs. Obama put in my school lunches.” Obama could be heard chiming in “Amen! You think you have it bad? Come Over to To The World I live in and Lemme See you eat at my house! But Don’t You Worry Child, there are no beets in the White House garden.”
Mr. Romney, working his last campaign rally trys to enliven his supporters, “Don’t worry that I seem emotionless, the doctor’s say one day I may actually Feel Again. Let’s take Obamacare and Burn it Down. Forget about the tape that portrayed me as insensitive to the working class, that was just The One That Got Away. We’ve all had at least one of those… Next time I’ll send the Fastest Girl In Town to block those kind of leaks.” At the rally, “Bandz A Make Her Dance” was blaring in the background and Mr. Romney was overheard taking a phone call from his wife, “Hello? Truck Yeah - Lovin’ You is Fun,” proving once and for all the Romneys do indeed have a storybook marriage.
At President Obama’s last campaign rally Vice President Joe Biden was mid-speech saying, “Someone Come Wake Me Up. I can’t believe I made it on the ticket AGAIN. I thought for sure President Obama would choose Hillary as Veep this time around. She’s So Mean, couldn’t she just dumb it down a bit for my sake? I promised to sing Hillary a Birthday Song if she didn’t Try to replace me this term. That is one Girl On Fire!”
Back at Fox News, pundits could be overheard saying, “Turn On The Lights this election isn’t over yet. We’ll have lots of Little Talks with The A Team aka our beautiful intelligent blonde reporters. Let’s Go all night with this banter. Why Ya Wanna change the channel? We’re Glad You Came. Let’s recap and Cruise through the issues for the one-billionth time. Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye we’ll give you 2 Reasons to say, ‘I Will Wait up all night to watch you pontificate potential election return results tonight.’”
Mrs. Obama was overheard saying, “I Can Only Imagine what those republicans will do to my White House garden.”
Over at CNN, Anderson Cooper--who is not Hard To Love--is having a Heart Attack just Thinkin Bout You and Keeping Them Honest. Politics is a game of Cowboys and Angels and Anderson is gonna Pop That RidicuList.
In astonishing record setting numbers patriots everywhere are tweeting reasons to Rock The Vote:
We Are Young, go vote! #ObamaBaby
It’s Time to vote! #2012
Voting is What Makes You Beautiful! #1D Will you RT me pleeezzzz?
Unless you’re stuck on a Pontoon, there is no excuse not to vote! #OnlyLosersDontVote
Get Your body to the voting booth! #RockTheVote
Take A Little Ride to your voting location! Find your polling place here. #NoExcuses
Ho Hey vote! #Yeah #ObamaBiden
Adorn yourself with your “I voted” sticker tomorrow all day with pride! #WooHoo
President Obama, we Want You Back - No Lie! #Obama2012
Dear Middle Class, Vote for me and Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself) Love, Welfare
Dear Jobs, Where Have You Been? #VOTEVOTEVOTE
Dear Mr. President, start preparing 50 Ways To Say Goodbye. #Romney2012
I Won’t Give Up on the economy recovering. #2012Vote #DemocratForLife
Blown Away by the patriotism! People camp overnight to be first in line to cast their Presidential vote. #Election2012
Titanium builds aircraft, votes build democracies. #AmericaRocks
If you want to save your Home then Give Your Heart A Break, vote with your head! #RomneyRocks
If you can’t get to a polling place find a Payphone and call a ride #RTTP
I voted for Somebody That I Used To Know @Gotye #WriteInCandidates
Don’t vote with your Clique, make up your own mind! #VoteYourConscience
Have some Mercy on the middle class. We just Wanted jobs not handouts! #RepublicansRock
We need to Pound The Alarm on this economy! #ItsTheEconomy
Don’t Wake Me Up unless #Romney wins! #DontComplainIfYouDontVote
Back at CNN where the twitter feed is being closely monitored, Wolf Blitzer is Wide Awake winking @Soledad_OBrien saying, “If you get an inside scoop on election results tomorrow, Call Me Maybe?” Anchors are grumbling, “Everybody Talks about the time the networks called it wrong, but when the Lights and cameras are on you and the election is Too Close to call, no one is having a Good Time making up jibber jabber to fill the air time.”
Mrs. Romney and Mrs. Obama are virtually pre-consoling their hubbies with the same line: “As Long As You Love Me it doesn’t matter who wins when they blow the final Whistle. Just remember to Blow Me (One Last Kiss) before you walk on stage, okay sweetie pie?”
Running mates are looking at one another and saying, “This is just exhausting. If we lose this election, We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together. Unless Some Nights you just wanna hang Gangnam Style?”
Meanwhile all of America is hoping--whichever party wins--freedom rings One More Night.
Watch Celebrities ROCK THE VOTE YouTube video with Miley Cyrus, Miranda Cosgrove and more
LAST WEEK’S WEEKEND 100:
Weekend 100 Countdown: Week of Sept. 29, 2012
Saturday Satire Style
Brought to you by @LifeofaRockStar
Saturdays are a great day for a little satire to lighten up the mood and for catching up with the music countdown. In honor of Maroon 5 working its way up to the No. 1 spot this week, we’ve translated the Billboard’s Top 100 song titles into “Letter to Adam Levine With Love From Your Biggest Fan” for your entertainment.
(Source: Billboard.com Hot 100 Week of September 29, 2012)
Song titles are in bold starting from #100 counting down to #1…enjoy!
Life of a Rock Star™ presents “Letter to Adam Levine With Love From Your Biggest Fan”
Inspired by @AdamLevine ’s tweet:
Chances are if you begin a sentence with, "I'm not a stalker, but..." you are most likely a stalker.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) July 29, 2012
Dear Adam,
Oh Love, my friends tell me that I’m on the obsessed fan stalker side, but I’m not like breaking any guitars and Nobody’s Perfect. Just because I’ve sworn that I will love you Til My Last Day there is no reason for the FBI to be Shinin’ On Me.
My Heart Skips a Beat when It’s Time for you to hit the stage--I never miss a show. I was so happy when I snuck back stage and Finally Found You. (BTW Calling in the 5-1-5-0 SO unnecessary...) I was only naked because I thought we’d find some Swimming Pools (Drank).
Read MORE “Letter to Adam Levine With Love From Your Biggest Fan”
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