Weekend 100 Countdown: Week of Sept. 22nd 2012
September/15/2012 09:06 AM
(Pictured left: #1 this week Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” released Aug 14, 2012 ℗ 2012 Big Machine Records, LLC)
Weekend 100 Countdown: Week of Sept. 22, 2012
Saturday Satire Style
Brought to you by @LifeofaRockStar
Saturdays are a great day for a little satire to lighten up the mood and for catching up with the music countdown. We’ve translated the Billboard’s Top 100 song titles into a list of “Things a Girl Would Never Say” for your entertainment.
(Source: Billboard.com Hot 100 Week of September 22, 2012)
Song titles are in bold starting from #100 counting down to #1…enjoy!
Life of a Rock Star™ presents “Things a Girl Would Never Say”
I woke up this morning remembering last night I promised to Dance For You right after I heard you telling your friend how you love Snap Backs & Tattoos way more than me. I wish the sun was never Shinin’ On Me and that you had fed me more cocktails the size of Swimming Pools (Drank).
I realize you’ve been cheating on me, but No Worries -- Nobody’s Perfect! I learned a long time ago that Promises are an ocean that nobody should Dive In; it’s a pointless mission Chasing The Sun. And while I don’t judge the Madness nor do I Put It Down, I’ld rather you run free like The Wind.
Don’t ask me for a commitment or be Creepin’ on my Instagram. Don’t be crying, “Enough of No Love,” or I’ll be reporting a 5-1-5-0. That’s Why I Pray for Both of Us that Tonight (Best You Ever Had) won’t make you want to Settle Down.
If you’ve got a Bag of Money, I don’t want any of it! You can hit the streets, spend all your money on hookers and drugs and Feel Again.
I never want you to think of me as The One That Got Away.
Hello! Say something. Are you Tongue Tied? I mean it! I Will Wait for you to have all the fun you like. Go hang with the Fastest Girl In Town and I’ll still be the one who thinks Lovin’ You is Fun. So Cruise on by and Come Wake Me Up, I’ll sing your Birthday Song ‘cause you can play around with The A Team and it’s all good.
It’s all about tonight baby, Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye. Let’s Burn It Down, and please Turn On The Lights!
I say “Amen” to hard work, I never wanna live Gangnam Style. Keep your Ferarri, I say Truck Yeah! I’ll take a mini-van Over a Mercedes any day. I Can Only Imagine how guys will be checking me out cruising down the street in my hot mom car.
You may be a huge loser but I’ve still got Angel Eyes -- For You. Lemme See if I can work an extra shift so you don’t have to get a job. Just Come Over when you’re done having fun with your friends, I’ll whip up a pie!
Let’s take a walk on the Dark Side and hang with your friends, I’ll totally give up my Clique.
Why Ya Wanna tell me that I’m Hard To Love and have all these Little Talks?
I only need one good reason why you got home late not 2 Reasons.
Please don’t ever hold me tight while I’m crying in the fetal position because I look fat in my jeans and try to comfort me by saying, “Let Me Love You (Until You Learn To Love Yourself).”
It’s Time to play Cowboys and Angels!
If Time Is Love then I want to spend all my time taking care of your kids while you hang out with your friends. Go be Wild Ones! I won’t be bitter. I’ll just be Glad You Came home. Seriously, go Pop That! My best friend says I deserve better, but She’s So Mean. Work Hard, Play Hard means “I work hard and you play hard.” No wonder she doesn’t have a man to Adorn her.
I hope this one night stand is a Drive By ‘cause I’m not Thinkin Bout You marrying me even though this is our first date.
Dear my 90 year old newly wed hubby: Please don’t have a Heart Attack and tragically pass away leaving me all your money. I’m a Girl On Fire for you and I love to Scream your name when we Ho Hey. Love, Your 22 Year Young Wifey
Starships were not meant to fly. Let’s Take A Little Ride on your fancy moped while We Are Young!
There may be 50 Ways To Say Goodbye but just grab your stuff and Let’s Go. I don’t have time for all of that “What makes You Beautiful” crap.
I’m Blown Away that you’re sitting on the couch drinking beer and watching Monday Night football.
I would rather be home doing laundry and mopping floors than relaxing on a Pontoon in the middle of a serene abandoned lake by myself.
No Lie, - I Won’t Give Up dragging the trash cans to the street if we live together. That’s totally a women’s job!
Don’t Wake Me Up just to tell me that you Wanted to let me know you’ll be late getting Home. I don’t Want U Back at any certain time and I won’t ask, “Where Have You Been?” In the morning I’ll Pound The Alarm and show you a little Mercy. I’ll get up with the kids.
Give Your Heart A Break, we all miss Ronan but he’s just Somebody That I Used To Know.
Forget gold, Titanium is my favorite element on the periodic table.
If there’s a Payphone in the strip club you’re at tonight, Call Me Maybe.
Tonight, when we’re sitting on the couch and you’re watching Braveheart for the one millionth time, I’ll totally be Wide Awake.
Don’t get Too Close to me with that big diamond ring or talk about what a Good Time we would have at our wedding. Everybody Talks about how As Long As You Love Me
and you’re this loyal great guy that I should just marry you. But honestly, Blow Me (One Last Kiss) and please shut off the Lights when you leave.
Some Nights I just wish you would let me blow your Whistle.
I can’t believe you want me to stay on this deserted island with you One More Night.
Even if you buy me an 8-carat purple $4 million dollar “apology ring,” We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.
The end. Happy Saturday