Life of a Rock Star™

Negative Nancy

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-07-06T13:14:46-07:00

Nixing Negativity

by Nicole Hanratty

Summer is a happy time. Family vacations, fun shopping sales, quiet mornings, strolls in the mall, sports, blockbuster movies, surfing, engaging books, evening strolls, long nights and meals that put joy above function.

Right now in Southern California we are experiencing long cool mornings that stretch through 2:00 in the afternoon when hot summer temperatures peak for a few welcome hours to ripen the tomato plants and then recede with the tide in time for a sunset cocktail in the back yard.

These idyllic summer days with this relieving weather are as welcoming as a glass of iced tea on porch swing.

Yet... News of a double-dip recession, joblessness rates rising, mortgage struggles abounding, and budget woes afflicting folks in every tax bracket overshadow the vacations and what should be memorable summer days. Life can get bleary and keeping perspective on what keeps us motivated can become more challenging than qualifying for a mortgage modification.

As a mom, it can be difficult to enjoy swimming with the kids when you know you need to have a job lined up come September when the children return to the classroom. As a father, decompressing on vacation can be nearly impossible when you are stretching just to pay for the holiday entertainment and are worried that you may return home to find your income source has been cut.

Yet...it is still summer, the weather is unbeatable (unless you are in Manhattan), and worrying changes nothing but the tread marks on your face.

Send Negative Nancy packing and reclaim your summer. Keeping these suggestions in mind, try to redefine your focus and let positivity come in with the sunshine.

Suggestions to Regain Positivity
Naysaying and negativity are easy to wake up with when you take them to bed. Put your worries to rest before you go to sleep and end the day with a smile, a laugh, a prayer, or a new goal for tomorrow.

Celebrity Life

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-06-08T09:20:43-07:00

Celebrity Life
by Nicole Hanratty

Sometimes life's funniest moments are served with brown rice and fried tofu. Last night I was mid-bite savoring the spicy tang of PF Chang's Ma Po Tofu, when my mother-in-law announced that she had heard--and by the way she was waving her pointed finger back and forth at me and my husband seemed to think was accurate and true about us--that our generation's big problem is that we all want to live a celebrity life. I was speechless. Not because I had a mouthful of food, but because our lives couldn't be further from celebrity or wanna be celebrity status if we tried. No, you won't find us pulling a Salahi stunt any time soon.

For starters, we rarely leave the house. We avoid social gatherings like they're the plague and we can count the number of people interested in our lives on one hand. Okay, maybe two if you count our family members.

Yes, we tend to wear our sunglasses everywhere we go but that's simply because we're concerned with UV rays affecting our long term vision, not because we're worried about being spotted by the paparazzi. (And, sometimes it's to avoid frightening innocent bystanders when I've left home without makeup.)

How can I be certain we aren't trying to live like celebrities? Hmm... Tricky question since my answer is bound to be biassed. But, we do live in a celebrity studded community so I will compare our lives to theirs and let you be the judge.

In full disclosure, real celebrities do engage in mundane everyday tasks just like we do and deal with difficult medical/social/family issues that come with well, being human. They can be seen dropping off at carpool or waiting for their child to finish a high-school placement test, but that is where I see the similarities ending.

Celebrities are sent things for free while we, on the other hand, purchase everything we own at full price. Their names get them in the door while we wait like maroons* at the back of a line arguing about whether or not my less than suave hubby should make another awkward attempt at slipping the host some cash to get us in before our ten o'clock bedtime arrives. They are invited to galas while we are headed off to Home Depot to purchase more plants for the garden where you are likely to find us "oooing and awwing" over our very first apples blooming on our recently planted tree. (See photo above.) They are headed off to fabulous places on a whim via their private jets while we are depositing change at the local Coinstar machine getting our thrills from the digital display as it counts up our cash as if we've won a jackpot.

Rock Star Kids

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-03-28T10:14:57-07:00

Glam Kids
The Rock Star Style of Today's Youth

By Nicole Hanratty

Kids today--including my own--live the life of little rock stars. Recession or economic downturn aside, today's kids have more style and glam than their predecessors from previous generations. From the schoolyard to the mall, kids--especially girls--are rocking some serious fashion.

Glam kids today have closets that are filled with popular hip clothes nothing short of runway ready. And this is true whether parents are shopping at Bloomingdales or Target. Everywhere I go, I see kids dressed like their rock star idols: Kristen Stewart, Demi Lovato, Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Justin Beiber, Zac Efron, Jesse McCartney and Taylor Lautner.

Children's clothing is constructed now to look adult-like and trendy along with their accessories. Rock star style sunglasses, necklaces, bracelets, bags and shoes--all very Hollywood--are available in tween or teen stores such as Justice, Forever 21, Urban Outfitters, Claires, H&M, as well as department stores ranging from Nordstrom to Kohl's. They are designed identically to high-end offerings on Fifth Avenue in New York City. The knockoff syndrome has gone size blind. One style fits all.

Say Cheese

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-23T10:58:13-08:00

Honest Food Identification
by Nicole Hanratty

Sometimes things catch my eye when I am out shopping and prompt me to stop and ask, "What is this?" While recently browsing the refrigerator section of Smart and Final--one of my favorite discount stores--I came across this imitation pasteurized process american cheese. After re-reading the label multiple times I emailed a picture of it to my husband. Did he know what it was? Nope, he didn't understand it either. We both agreed it was clearly American.

Call me crazy for questioning the true identity of this food product, but with four other descriptive words, (including the word "imitation"), before the word cheese, I'm wondering what exactly is in those 120 slices. At least it requires refrigeration, that seems like a start. And maybe this cheese gets a second point for honesty in labeling--we could use more of that these days.

Vancouver Olympics

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-16T07:54:02-08:00

Medal Count • The United States in the lead with eight medals while Germany is close behind with five.

The athletes are hitting the slopes and my family is glued to NBC watching every competition and race. It is rare for us all to be interested in the same broadcast--we usually battle between Disney, Discovery, History, Fox and CNN--but the Vancouver 2010 Winter Olympics have us all captivated.

Olympic mania is usually a family phenomenon and the Vancouver Games are no exception. They are gender neutral, age equalizing and conversation sparking. (My hubby and I are still debating the Apolo Ohno silver medal win where the two Koreans knocked each other out of second and third place allowing Apolo Ohno to come from fourth place to take silver and tie Bonnie Blaire's record as the most decorated Winter Olympic champion. I say he won fair and square, my husband says he should be embarrassed to accept that medal and should hand it to the Korean who was knocked out by his own teammate.) We curl up in bed at night and holler at the television as if the athletes can hear us cheering for their wins. We backseat ski and critique their styles as if any of us had the talent, drive or dedication to have a real opinion. We gasp when they fall and cringe when they are injured. We were mournful when Nodar Kumaritashvili lost his life on the Luge at the tender age of 21. We let out sympathetic groans when world class athletes see their Olympic dreams vanish in one split second with one bad fall or a missed shot.

Most importantly, when we are watching the Vancouver Olympics as a family we talk to each other about fun exciting things that have nothing to do with school, work, finances or chores and that is a beautiful thing for family time. Even if it is just for a few weeks, we can all use a break from the usual bickering and enjoy rooting for the same team.

Romantic Movies

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-12T16:24:03-08:00

If you aren't headed out to the movie theatre this weekend, here's a list of favorite romance movies to entertain you at home this Valentine's Day:

1. Chocolat
2. Bridget Jone's Diary
3. Dirty Dancing
4. My Best Friends Wedding
5. Hitch
6. Say Anything
7. Flashdance
8. Like Water for Chocolate
9. As Good as it Gets
10. Hope Floats

Ending Childhood Obesity

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-10T17:20:30-08:00

Overweight Kids:
The Skinny on Childhood Obesity
By Nicole Hanratty

Is it really any surprise that one in three kids today are considered obese? First Lady Michelle Obama is intent on helping all moms who face the daunting task of fighting this seemingly impossible battle and her crusade will not be an easy one. Frequent birthday celebrations and holiday parties at schools bring cupcakes and donuts to snack time weekly. Parties on the weekends customarily offer pizza and cake to kids. Hot lunch menus at school offer fast food from Popeye's Chicken, Domino's and Taco Bell. Long commutes to and from work for parents--in addition to kid's after school activities--make drive-thrus convenient for dinner. French fries have become the standard accompaniment with every kid’s meal at restaurants of all sorts. Sodium, sugar, hydrogenated oils and fat are the primary ingredients in pre-packaged snack foods that get consumed by our children daily. Sodas and juice boxes have replaced water and milk as a main source of hydration. Worse yet, virtual play has replaced bike riding, baseball and running around with friends at the park.

ACCESS: A recent visit to the downtown area of Hartford, Connecticut illustrated to me that there are entire neighborhoods--where people lack their own vehicles--without fresh produce or proper grocery stores to shop for healthy nutritious food. We drove blocks around a lower income neighborhood lined with apartments without coming across one proper grocery store.

Only a minimal amount of fruit and vegetables were offered in the local convenience/liquor stores that we saw within walking distance for those residents. What did line the shelves looked dirty, old and unappealing. Admittedly, I too walked past the overripe fruit to find a bag of Ruffles that looked safe and clean to eat. Sodas and juices were enticingly placed en masse throughout the store and sold for a fraction of the cost of bottled water. For residents in areas like these, access to healthy alternatives stands as a huge barrier.

BUDGET: The cost of healthy eating can be an especially burdensome financial challenge for the lower and middle class in this economy. With everyone needing to cut back and downsize, groceries need to last and perishable items that go wasted are undesirable.

In times like these, it can seem more sensible to spend your grocery money on a box of fruit roll ups that boast being a, "Good source of Vitamin C, Fat Free and Gluten Free," and won't spoil than on a basket of strawberries that will likely last no more than three days. And while you can't compare the two products nutritionally, most parents don't realize this or haven't been educated enough on the negative health effects of replacing fresh fruits with manufactured fruit flavoring.

Women and Super Bowl Sunday

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-08T09:02:00-08:00

Women and Super Bowl Sunday
by Nicole Hanratty

For women, Super Bowl Sunday is never just about the game. Of course there is the food and the friends--don't forget the commercials and silly betting pools--but aside from what is happening on the field there is off the field drama as well. I'm not talking about the tear jerking mini-dramas that are played throughout the day about players beating the odds to make it to the Super Bowl or the personal challenges they endure that glue you to the couch in anticipation of seeing these individuals be rewarded for their endurance and perseverance. I'm talking about the drama that is unfolding in the living room.

No- the myths that Super Bowl Sunday see a spike in domestic violence are not the drama I'm referring to either... FYI, these have seem to be rebuked for the most part. [See Super Bowl Sunday, Domestic Violence & Your Health By John M Grohol PSYD]

It's the relationships and bonding, the rivalry and fun, the conversations that happen in the dining room far away from where the game is even being aired. Women have an amazing ability to ease through a testosterone filled room with a smile--showing interest in the game when appropriate--but otherwise huddling together to share their stories, heartache and laughter.

Date Night

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-04T10:23:17-08:00

Date Night
By Nicole Hanratty

When it comes to date night, I feel just like the kid in Sixteen Candles whose parents are pushing him into the high school dance as he’s resisting, “I wanna go home. I wanna be with you guys!” Only in our scenario, it’s the kids pushing us out the front door because the babysitter is way more fun, as is our house without Mom and Dad. But it is the one night of the week when my husband and I know we get to walk away from the house, leave our concerns behind—hypothetically—and enjoy an adult dinner at a nice restaurant (sans the overpriced penne pasta with butter).

Ironically, dining alone seems to produce record speed service in even the finest of dining establishments. The beverages, bread and appetizer seem to appear within minutes of us being seated and the waiter stands eager by our tableside to take our entrée order. If we bring children to the same restaurant, it could be twenty minutes before we see a morsel of bread or a sip of water, which produces grumpy, hungry and restless kids. Likely the entire ordeal will take a full two hours—I have always postured that they must have to run to the market and buy the mac n’ cheese to make for the kiddies—with us paying $25.00 per bowl of cheesy noodles and wishing we had just gone to CPK which the kids were begging for in the first place. However when the hubby and I show up alone ready to relax and enjoy a fully pampered three-course two-hour meal, we are in and out in fifty-five minutes flat.

2010 Hot Topics

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-03T09:41:18-08:00

2010 Observations (So far...)
By Nicole Hanratty

1. It's now easier for a women over the age of 40 to find a husband than it is to find a job.

2. The "Good Life" has been sent a notice of abandonment, (even by those who can still afford it).

3. Dear Mr. President, Vegas is on our "Not Giving Up No Matter What" list, along with our hairdressers and home shopping network habit. Sincerely, The USA

4. Celebrity glamour is what it used to be.

5. Everything everyone says can be you-tubed, tweeted, facebooked, and blogged for all eternity to remember, unfortunately. (Our poor kids.)

Garage Tells All

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-02-01T11:35:34-08:00

Garage Tells All
By Nicole Hanratty

The vast majority of us all start out in the same place post college--renting an apartment and dreaming of the day we will sign our life away to a mortgage and have shelter we can call our own that includes our very own garage. In these youthful and optimistic days, we see a white sparkling clean well-organized space that perfectly fits our car, bicycle, washer and dryer, along with a cabinet that can be used to store a few mementos.

Within days of having the coveted keys to the new front door, we surrender and designate the garage for all of the boxes of things we have accumulated over the years and have no idea what to do with, yet we begged our parents to save. The tennis racket circa 1980s, soccer trophies, the art work from first grade, the notes we passed back and forth to our best friends in junior high school--back when they still called it junior high--fill boxes that we forgot even existed until the day Mom and Dad showed up with them in lieu of a house warming present. They muttered something sweet like, "Here's all your crap," then pulled away faster than Mario Andretti.

New Decade, New Style

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2010-01-12T11:07:07-08:00

New Decade, New Style

By Nicole Hanratty

Ring in 2010 with these hot new “Skarlettes” (reversible capes with a scarf attached) from Zuriz Dezinz. Handmade and in many cases, one-of-a-kind originals, these gorgeous wraps will warm you or your daughter in style this chilly January winter. You’ll have to drive into the suburbs (or call and beg a store to ship one off to you) to get your hands on one of these gorgeous capes, but it will be well worth your efforts. As one storeowner put it, “The only other place you will find these, is in Italy.”

Available at:
Hipster Kid
2903 Agoura Road
Westlake Village, Ca
(805) 494-0900
http://www.shophipsterkid.com

Glen Kids
2944 Beverly Glen Circle
Los Angeles, Ca
(310) 474-9966

Pas de Deux
5853 Kanan Road Agoura Hills, CA
(818) 707-1425

Ballet Arts
31308 Via Colinas Suite 101
Westlake Village, Ca
(805) 495-7940

Price Range: $65.00 to $200.00 (Depending on size and style)
Children and adult sizes are available.
For more information email: zurizdezinz@aol.com

Meet The Designer

Shawna, the founder of Zuriz Dezinz, was born with a sense of fashion. As a young girl, she loved to design fashionable clothing for her paper dolls and Barbies as well as fun flip-flops (then called “thongs”) for herself, made from cardboard and fabric scraps.

Living through hard times and wearing clothes donated to charities left on the front door step of her home, Shawna rifled through the bags for things that would fit her and pulled out a dress that she slipped into for church one Sunday morning. While at church, a girl recognized the dress Shawna was wearing as one that she had donated to the “needy.” The girl—too young herself to realize that Shawna’s family was in that category--called Shawna out on it and embarrassed her. Shawna vowed never to let that happen again. She taught herself to sew and began altering the donated clothing in her closet to such an extent that no one would ever recognize what she wore again.

H1N1 Vaccine

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-11-02T10:16:39-08:00

H1N1 Vaccine

by Nicole Hanratty

As a world community, we are up in arms over H1N1. We don't know if we should brush it off as an over-hyped media blitz reminiscent of the Richard Heene story, a government hyped political story to get health care reform passed (as Rush Limbaugh would argue), or whether we should just follow along and line up for the vaccination. Either way you slice it, the mounting number of young people from H1N1 this fall flu season is--without question--alarming.

Throwing paranoia to the wind, I admit I found myself in line. The benefits seemed to outweigh the risk with my family full of underlying conditions. (Everyone will handle this crises differently and opinions seem to get heated when you bring up the topic for discussion, so I am not in any way suggesting that any one should get this vaccine. Consult your doctor, your priest, your personal guru or your mother but do not interpret this as advice in way, shape or formation.)

For three hours I was entertained by the countless number of cameras, photographers, reporters, news vans, satellite dishes, radio djs, and personalities, including the man in front of us who listened to me quiz my child for a history test then explained a little more that we should know and told us about the book he wrote that he was promoting while in line. (Here's another plug for his book: Jacob's Rescue by Michael Halperin.) Hundreds of people, mothers with toddlers, pregnant women, health care professionals, teachers and critically ill patients were all brought together for one common cause: to fight the flu (or to report on fighting it).

Histerectomy

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-10-27T21:03:41-07:00

Histerectomy

Written by Diane Bittiker
Edited by Nicole Hanratty

Hysterectomy: removal of part or all of the uterus. Derived from the Greek word hystera (womb) with the former notion being that hysterical women were suffering from disturbances of the womb. (Hence removing the uterus was believed to relieve a woman's hysterical behavior.)

The ancient Greeks may have been masters at throwing the javelin, but when it comes to trying to pinpoint the cause of a woman's hysteria they were way off the mark.

Having just had a hysterectomy--I can tell you first hand--my hysteria is still going strong drumming right along side the Duracell bunny. If hysteria was supposed to be removed with my womb then my doctor didn't get the memo.

My hysterical condition was diagnosed a few months back. My physician said my uterus had seen its' days and I would be better off without the old plumbing.

Telling my darling husband (here on referred to as DH*) went well, (I suppose), if you consider "Isn't that an ol' lady surgery" a positive response. He is very funny that sweet man, maybe even hysterical.

Request Responses

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-10-05T13:39:22-07:00

Request Responses

by Nicole Hanratty

Over the years, I have learned that a wife and mother's job description really knows no boundaries. Whether it is wiping tushies, refilling kleenex boxes, cleaning up trails of vomit, making costumes, baking cookies, selling raffle tickets, purchasing gifts for random strangers or driving from here to Chicago in search of the right sport shoes, there seems to be no limit of what my loved ones will request of me after they spout the word "Honey" or "Mom."

Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't change hearing these terms of endearment for anything else in the world. It is the dragged out slow question forming ending to the word "Honey" and "Mom" that gives me pause. Here it comes, what will they ask of me next?

Morning Coffee

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-09-28T10:07:49-07:00

Morning Coffee
by Nicole Hanratty

I can't be the only one who is groggy in the morning, can I? I would love to proclaim myself as one who jumps out of bed to greet the sunrise with a smile, but no can do. Never had it, never will. Morning cheeriness is not my thing.

Even when I was a school girl I remember my dad, (who had been up for three hours and already consumed a pot of coffee), trying to discuss world politics with me at 7 AM. Bless him. He was trying to send me off for the day with a sense of what was going on in the world and all I could do was grunt at him as I picked at my cereal.

Closet Catharsis

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-09-14T20:49:33-07:00

Note: A few weeks ago I mentioned randomly my "out with the old and in with the new" clothing theory which keeps my closet simplified and pared down, but always fresh. Whenever I buy new clothing I pull out older clothes from my closet that I haven't worn in over a year or no longer reach for and stick them in a donation bag before I put any new items away. I never imagined anyone was paying attention to the explanation of my little ritual. Then, a week later, I received this email which with permission, I am publishing for Life of a Rock Star readers. Enjoy...n

Closet Catharsis
by Diane Bittiker

I have to thank you for telling me your theory on clothes. I usually go through my closet at least once a year but today was the most thorough I have ever been.

I have to admit that at first, I was hesitant about the idea of casting my dearly beloved articles of clothing into the newly designated empty donation "bag." Yet when I started to look closer at what I had hanging in my overflowing closet--keeping the "when did I wear it last" question in mind--I realized it was time to get down to business.

For starters, did I need three identical pink polo shirts? NO! Out with two of them.

How about the shirt with only a "small" hole in it? Gone. The shirt missing a button? Nope. The 1980s blouse with the wide lapels? The too small blazer that hasn't been worn for at least a decade? Out! Out! Out!

Welcome Back

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-09-01T10:06:21-07:00

Welcome Back
by Nicole Hanratty

School is almost back in session. This Rock Star Mom is hanging on to the last few days of summer and keeping her offspring close. School clothes are hung and backpacks are ready to roll down the sidewalk, but for a few more precious days I have nothing but lemonade and card games on the agenda.

I realize that it has been more than a few weeks since I sat down at my keyboard to share my wisdom with the world... Never fear, the things I have learned over these past eight weeks will make for good entertaining reading in the months to come and keep you all amused with how the real world can throw you curve balls you may not have seen coming but in retrospect, didn't really dodge either.

Take for instance, the thunder storm I got caught in this summer on the east coast. Of course I should have thrown my umbrella in my oversized roomy purse, but my husband insisted there was not a cloud in sight. (Wait, maybe this is a lesson about not listening to men? Hmm...) An hour later, standing in the middle of a forest of trees, the invisible clouds unleashed a high pressure shower system mocking my choice to leave "preparedness" at home. My little white sundress was drenched, I was dodging lightening bolts at my feet as I ran for the car and the flimsy theatre playbook I was holding over my head was no match for the storm. One $75 blow dry down the drain.

Dance Video Contest

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-05-26T17:57:03-07:00

I can’t think of a better way to spend Memorial Day than I did yesterday hanging out with friends, swimming, BBQing and sharing some laughs. It was an educational evening as I learned some things about people I never needed to know but couldn’t stop laughing about this morning.

These busy spring days we all need to let our hair down a bit more often and take a break from the end-of-school-year madness.

Looking for something fun to do?

Check this out:
Tiki (the torch company) is holding a contest, and here’s the info….

Shopping Malls Close: What Will Open in their Place?

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-05-22T08:32:34-07:00

As shopping malls across the country feel the economic crunch in sales, and shops close down like dominoes falling one after another, malls are becoming hollow empty shells of a past culture that is coming to an end. [See WSJ Recession Turns Malls Into Ghost Towns, Friday, May 22, 2009] Dinosaurs of their times, these oversized massive structures no longer fit the needs or desires of today’s youth or consumers that once drove their success.

Like it or not, the era of excess is over as even the wealthiest cut back and second guess expenditures, and we are all about to face a reality check like never before.

Reality Check No. 1:
We may have to actually drive more than a few miles to get to a shopping mall or store. Public transport may become desirable. Community may resurface. Neighbors may once again need to share home grown produce and cups of sugar...maybe even learn each other’s names.

You're Only As Old As Your Slang

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-05-13T17:49:12-07:00

Ridin Dirty

It’s funny how age creeps up on you. While watching Q Wreck in a YouTube video the other night it became glaringly obvious that my youth vanished long ago with Milli Vanilli.

The moment Q Wreck pronounced, “I ain’t getting caught riding dirty,” my age began to rival that of a Roman statue.

What does riding dirty mean? I made this inquiry the first order of business on my morning walk with my girlfriends, but let’s face it...they’re as old as me. Poor things. They had good close guesses, but no one knew for certain. And none of them could say they had ever used the phrase nor heard it in play.

My last resort was the link to all things young and hip, the Urban Dictionary.

Even My Dog's On Twitter

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-04-25T15:11:27-07:00

Time to Twitter

When certain friends and family members in my life ask me, “What is Twitter?” I wonder how I know and they don’t. These people are not grannies in nursing rooms, they are young, hip and technologically advanced. (More advanced than me anyhow.) How can they not know what Twitter is? Even my dog is on Twitter.

Nope, I’m not kidding.

What doe she tweet about? Typically she likes to post information about her favorite treats, toys and napping locations. However, her mommy insists that she must also be philanthropic in her tweeting, so she posts tweets (and re-tweets) with information about doggies less fortunate than herself that need new homes. Sometimes she even tweets about outbreaks of illnesses in the news, such as Parvo, to remind pet owners that we need to keep our pets vaccinated and safe. Check out one of her recent tweets:

@SpoiledDog “RT @BigLapDogParvo outbreak at Pomona animal shelter; 50 puppies & dogs euthanized http://bit.ly/s87Bp”
10:09 AM Apr 23rd from web

When @SpoiledDog opened her Twitter account she was worried she’d be the only dog in town, but to her surprise there are tons of canine friends to tweet with online! Check out some of her them:

Estate Planning & Procrastinating

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-04-22T10:57:04-07:00

The dreaded estate planning... Ugh, need I say more? We’ve had the checklists of items to gather up for the attorney for days, weeks, okay months. It has sat on our desks staring at us the way mortality often does, frightening imminent and, at the same time, impossible. But the day had arrived to deliver our paperwork and sign our lives away.

(Don’t worry, you can keep reading. There’s no sales pitch for anyone or anything or in any way associated with this article. Nor will you find ads for estate planners at the bottom of it. I promise. Scroll down and check if you like.)

From where I stand, the world of invincibility is a fabulous place to live when the alternative is having to talk or think about the (God forbid) world our kids would face if we were to (God Forbid) die while they are still young. Did I say God forbid? (God forbid.) Spit spit. Tu tu. Salt over the shoulder.

Bring Your Parent To School Day

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-04-15T08:33:24-07:00

Bring Your Parent to School Day

By Andee Hewitt

Sydney did not ask her accountant mother to come and talk to her class about what an accountant does at work...she wanted only her Daddy! I guess police work is a little more exciting than crunching numbers all day. The kids were so excited to try on the bullet proof vest and helmet. The class was even more excited to jump in the police car, hear the radio calls and see the lights go.

Buzzwords at Home

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-04-09T14:31:53-07:00

Buzzwords at Home

The Time report on the Top Ten Buzz Words for 2008 got me thinking about how these popularized words are impacting my life now in 2009.

10. Topless Meeting
While no one has asked me to turn my phone off in a brainstorming meeting, my husband has strict rules for date night. I am not allowed to text, email, google or twitter, much less take a call. And while I would like to bring my laptop along for quick access to movie times and reviews, restaurant suggestions, access to information that would settle our debate of the evening, and maybe sneak in a blog post while he is paying the bill, my computer is not allowed along either. Some might call this Topless Dating.

9. Tweet
Twitter is at my fingertips 24-7 with my favorite Tweetie iphone app. I can’t leave home or climb in bed without it. My favorite function of Tweetie is the Nearby feature. I love to see who is Tweeting in my neighborhood. Just one year ago, I wouldn’t have even known what the Tweet was going on.

Spring Break 2009: Staycationing

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-04-06T10:01:14-07:00

Spring Break 2009:

Staycationing

By GG

It is a glorious, yet rare spring day: 78º in Southern California. The kind of day that makes residents remember why we live here...the kind that makes tourists decide to move here...the kind of day with no sports or activities for my very active family. That is what makes it rare. So rare that it hasn't happened in our always on the go home since November 2008.

When it happened in last fall, we went away on vacation. But this spring, we’re taking the ever-popular “staycation” and today we all slept in--waking up to TV instead of alarm clocks. We marveled at the idea of freedom: there was no need to search for cleats and uniforms, no ice chest to pack, no presents to purchase or wrap. This freedom allowed time to make breakfast in bed for the kids, served on trays filled with French toast, strawberries, bacon and love. (Ok, really they were cookie sheets designed to avoid powdered sugar & syrup landing on their beds, but it was still done with love!)

Counter Gifts

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-04-01T13:18:08-07:00

Counter Gifts

By Nicole Hanratty

Gifts often appear on my kitchen counter quite fortuitously. Within the last few days I have come home to find a lovely wine bottle holder hand carved from Hawaii with a sweet "Thank You" note from an employee and an electric wine opener from my in-laws. My husband brought both of these gifts home with the pride of a hunter displaying his game and placed them in my domain--the kitchen--as if presenting them to his master. Sweet isn't it?

Except, I'm not sure my hubby is so much honoring me with these counter gifts as he is passing along their inherent formalities. How so, you ask? Properly receiving gifts is not an effortless task. I should know. No matter what the occasion or for which member of the family any gifts are intended, they all wind up on my kitchen counter for de-boxing, assembling, package recycling, washing--you do wash new clothing before wearing I hope--acknowledging, and permanent placing in such a manner that when the gift giver visits our home he or she sees that their present has been duly appreciated.

"How To" Refill the Soap Dispenser

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-03-30T18:36:04-07:00

"How To" Refill the Soap Dispenser
by Nicole Hanratty

It's tricky, I know. You actually have to pull the top off of the soap dispenser to squirt more liquid inside. It takes a bit of effort but the rewards are spectacular! Once you replace the lid--Voila!--one press produces enough soap to wash a sink full of dishes.

Just follow three easy steps: 1) Remove top. 2) Pour more soap inside the container--we keep the refill bottle under the kitchen sink--and leave an inch or so of space on top. 3) Slide the pump back inside.

Life of a Rock Star Birthday

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-03-19T08:21:23-07:00

My sister Gina's birthday was this week and she has been kind enough to share with our readers what a real Life of a Rock Star™ Mom's birthday is all about:

• Get served breakfast in bed. Well, why wouldn't she wake up to her kids and hubby bringing her steaming hot coffee, crunchy toast and not over-cooked-with-a-dash-of-cheese scrambled eggs while she slowly awakens to the beautiful day? Maybe because her sweet hubby doesn't know how to push the 'On' button for the coffee maker--even though she had gotten it all ready the night before--and needed our Life of a Rock Star™ Mom to head down the steps to get the java brewing. "Oh honey, while you're down there can you just get out your special bread, (she has Celiac Sprue), from the freezer 'cause we're not sure where it is?" Then climb back in bed to enjoy your prepared meal.

Funny Signs of the Times

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-03-10T09:58:14-07:00

Funny Signs of the Times

by Nicole Hanratty

Seems as if the financial credit markets have finally loosened up. Fortunate Southern California residents can apply for financial aid for... their hair cuts*?

Yes, times are tough and no one can get a loan to purchase a house, car or help stock their small business shelves but this is an encouraging sign that some aid is still available.

Inferiority Complex

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-10-25T21:21:52-07:00

Inferiority Complex
by Nicole Hanratty

It's not easy being the ultra-successful Tracy Bobbitt's friend.
Sure, there are days when she is ready to pull her hair out because
she has triple booked her 2:00 P.M. time slot with three different
appointments in three different counties to discuss ten new projects
of which she is completely overwhelmed by and I think, "Sucks to be
her!" But, truthfully, even then I am jealous.

This week alone, she is off to the east coast honoring her father--
along with a hundred other United States Senators--as he receives a
lifetime achievement award. In my lifetime I won't know anyone so
special as to deserve such accolades, yet this is her progenitor.
While at the same time, back on the west coast, this week her daughter
Jordan is off filming a movie--The Hangover--and her husband, Russell Bobbitt, is rocking the props on set. Did I mention that Tracy is also taking multiple orders from
elite stores such as Kitson, Beverly Hills which are clambering to get
her Crib Rock Couture on their shelves for the holidays?

Best Friends

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-03-02T14:19:33-08:00

Best Friends
by Nicole Hanratty

You know I love my coffee, it gets me through the day. The steaming hot cup of sanity navigates me as I attend to the Monday morning marketing, laundry, car wash, pet store and dry cleaners. It gives me clarity and makes me whole. Java is my best friend and without it I am lost.

But today, in a tragic turn of events my BFF was squandered. I added a splash of soy milk, replaced the lid and walked away from the coffee bar only to realize far too late that the reason I was not tasting any of my beloved beverage is because I was pouring it down the right side of my body. No, it was not coming out of the plastic hole on top of the lid for my perched lips to sip because the lid was ajar and the coffee was instead pouring through the crack between the top of the cup and the bottom of the lid.

'Slamdog Millionaire'

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-02-23T11:54:14-08:00

'Slamdog Millionaire'
by Nicole Hanratty

It was late into the show when my child said to me, "That Slamdog movie is winning everything..." As a rule, I don't correct mispronounced words, they are too precious and such cherished innocent childhood moments, that I can't bring myself to eradicate them. For years, my frig was called a "refrigilator" and I was so angry the day my husband finally corrected the word. But as I sat on the couch pondering this title change, I realized there was genius involved. The movie had been predicted to sweep the Oscars as a slam-dunk winner, hence the revised title 'Slamdog Millionaire' could not be more appropriate.

I had heard earlier in the weekend that the mother of the little boys who appeared in the movie had to beg borrow and steal to scrape up enough money to buy the young actors a new pair of blue jeans to wear on the flight to America from India--their first time flying--and my heart melted for their story, their mother, and the real poverty that does exist in India. I was eager to see them on the red carpet because I knew their innocent eyes would be lit up with excitement as they took in the visceral experience.

Oscar's Coming

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-02-20T16:33:10-08:00

Oscar's Coming
by Nicole Hanratty

I love movies. If I had to pick one thing that I had to do every day for the rest of my life, it would be watch a movie. Everyday is a perfect movie day to me. Whether it's cold and rainy out or bright and sunny, there is no place I would rather be than soaking up the creativity of Hollywood.

Sunday night I will be glue to the television watching who wins, who they thank, and what they are wearing.

I have just a few hopes:

Mammogram Fun

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-02-12T13:01:01-08:00

Mammogram Fun
By Nicole Hanratty

Okay so no one really has fun getting a mammogram, but they are so important to have annually that I figure I may as well find the humor in them to encourage women everywhere to make that dreaded phone call, schedule an appointment and get their boobies squeezed.

Never had one? Check your modesty at the door.

Three Word Phrase

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-02-09T10:48:29-08:00

Life of a Rock Star™ is looking for your Three Word Phrase that reflects your personal motto. What are your words to live by? What reflects your life? How do you make it through the day? Come on Rock Stars, share your wisdom!

Fated Nursemaid

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-01-26T12:54:01-08:00

Fated Nursemaid
by Nicole Hanratty

Before 8 am my fate was clear. With both husband and child home sick, it was evident I would spend the day playing nursemaid.

By midnight last night, with coughing echoing throughout every corner of my house, I knew that my Monday morning routine would never see daylight. My usual route which runs like clockwork every week, (two plus grocery stores, the car wash, the drug store, the dry cleaner, the gas station, the bank, and Coffee Bean), was cancelled. Call my vendors, I’m a no-show today.

Kettle One is for the Dogs

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-01-13T12:42:30-08:00

Kettle One is for the Dogs
by Nicole Hanratty

I’m so done. The holidays are over, I can leave my house without worrying about whether or not I need a gift for anyone I’m about to see and I’ve jumped off of the Fall Holiday Wheel of Events that belongs in my nephews’ hamster cage purchased for their birthdays which they promptly returned after realizing hamsters poop.

January brings sanity, a return to my favorite routines and normalcy. We reclaim our weekends from family commitments and holiday cheer; they are once again free for us to use them as we choose.

The Perfect Outfit

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-01-07T12:32:57-08:00

The Perfect Outfit
by Nicole Hanratty

Every morning I step into my closet with the all-important calendar in hand. With bitter reluctance, I surrender my pajamas to the laundry room and begin the search for the impossible: The Perfect Outfit. Clothes may make the man but they also define the day.

Each event filled 24-hour period of my life falls into a different category and without question requires a corresponding outfit. For instance:

Type A Days: These require a perky coordinated ensemble with a signature piece of flair, (i.e. hat, scarf or necklace) which screams, “High Achiever.” Something that allows me to hurdle backpacks, fight traffic, power through the stack on top of my desk, meet multiple appointments and still gets me to lunch on time!

New Years 2009

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2009-01-01T17:55:36-08:00

New Years 2009
by Nicole Hanratty

I could babble on about how bad last year was and how hopeful this year looks but I’m going to dare to be different. The truth is, as bad as last year was--and it was bad--it was also a year full of funny. You have to laugh when you look back to reflect upon the previous twelve months of your life and you are thinking about little more than the ironic, the bewildering and the pitiful. If I could sum up the year in two words it would be Shakespearean Comedy.

Winter Where?

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-12-04T17:45:27-08:00

Winter Where?

by Nicole Hanratty

November means winter for Nebraska and global warming or not, my Midwest cousins’ teeth begin chattering. The poor boys couldn’t even stay in their seats at Cornhusker Stadium through the end of a football game they attended, but instead had to take shelter in a local bar to get out of the winds that took the 30 degree weather down to what felt like below zero. (Don’t feel too badly for them though, those crazy kids know how to have fun...)

Unfriendly Signs: Crunch Zone

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-12-04T17:41:52-08:00

Unfriendly Signs:
Crunch Zone
by Nicole Hanratty

Just a little holiday cheer for all of you who need a smile while you’re meeting the demands of your over-committed calendar this month...

Thanksgiving Disasters

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-11-11T17:25:49-08:00

Thanksgiving Disasters!
by Nicole Hanratty

Thanksgiving is coming and so are the relatives, all of which brings up memories of Thanksgiving Disasters Past.

We’ve had knock down drag outs in Mammoth, flues that cleared tables, been lost on roads that seemed to go in circles on our way to Big Bear, and had arguments that made moving to Syberia seem like a completely plausible solution.

Multi-Tasking Or Attention Deficit Disorder

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-11-06T17:19:12-08:00

Multi-Tasking or Attention Deficit Disorder
by Nicole Hanratty

On my way to sit down at my desk to write this article, I heard the dryer ending its cycle. I ventured into my other office--the laundry room--to pull out my husband’s white tee shirts and get them folded while they were still warm and wrinkle-free.

I knew I needed to get my bottom in my desk chair and avoid further distractions, but as I was putting away the fresh laundry I noticed my child’s closet was in desperate need of organization. There were multiple jackets on the floor that needed hangers and shoes that weren’t on shelves.

Who Do You Blame?

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-11-04T17:16:13-08:00

Who Do You Blame?
by Nicole Hanratty

Blame is a funny thing. It shifts responsibility for something that has gone bad or wrong onto someone else. It relieves us from feeling fault, regret or responsibility.

For instance, when anything of value is missing in my home I am quick to start pointing fingers. I rarely, if never, stop and say, “I must have misplaced it!” Inevitably when hours, days or months later the missing valuable item is found--right where I left it--I mutter something under my breath and move past my bad quickly. No formal, or informal, exoneration is ever issued.

The Tool Rule

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-10-27T16:59:39-07:00

The Tool Rule
by Nicole Hanratty

I was alone. I was handling it. It was all going perfect until...my husband came home.

The dog needed a little rug to lie on outside in the back yard while she sunbathes during the day. I found a scrap of new carpeting in the garage to place outside the door and was in the midst of cutting it down to her little size.

Fighting to Win Pavlik vs. Hopkins

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-10-23T15:10:27-07:00

Fighting To Win Pavlik vs. Hopkins
by Nicole Hanratty

In the house I grew up, with multiple girls, one can only imagine the number of arguments over clothing that my parents had to settle. I can remember my dad telling us sisters numerous times he was going to hand out boxing gloves and let us “duke it out,”--an expression that dates me for sure because no one uses that phrase anymore.

For the record, although I am the youngest, I am certain that I would have won in every match. (No one borrows my favorite shirt without asking and gets away with it!)

Sesnon Fire

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-10-14T14:59:56-07:00

Sesnon Fire
by Nicole Hanratty

Sesnon Fire»

Anyone who grows up in the Los Angeles area, knows that Halloween and fire season seem to go hand in hand. This October is no different with the Sesnon Fire raging in southern California.

As a child, I can remember trick or treating with friends who had to evacuate their homes and pulling together make-shift costumes for them out of odds and ends around the house. Our parents were always tense and exchanging nervous whispers while we ran with enthusiasm up to each new door holding out our pillow cases asking for candy not really understanding at all the magnitude of the situation that was occurring.

Needless to say, now I not only get it...I get it on overdrive.

Bernanke On Main Street

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-10-01T14:50:00-07:00

Bernanke On Main Street
by Nicole Hanratty

Last Sunday, in an unpredictable turn of events, a Main Street Mom--inspired by none other than Ben Bernanke himself--took over the Command Control Remote in an historic move to seize the malfunctioning operating system and restore a sense of confidence in its ability to proceed fairly.

The acquired asset catapulted her into the position of “Couch Commander,” and there was nothing anyone--not even the House of Representatives--could do to salvage the situation or bail Main Street out of this crisis.

On Tour

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-09-23T14:45:10-07:00

On Tour
by Nicole Hanratty

It’s been a year full of travel and this Rock Star is ready to unpack her suitcases for the remainder of the year.

There have been some bumpy flights, cancelled plans, airport dramas, annoying inconveniences and general travel mayhem along the way, but there were only a few things this Diva (to my husband’s dismay) and our offspring couldn’t handle. The best of the complaints are compiled here in a list for your enjoyment (hopefully) and sympathy (unlikely).

One Good Compliment

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-09-08T14:38:08-07:00

One Good Compliment
by Nicole Hanratty

Monday mornings are rarely, if ever, jump out of bed with a smile on your face days. Most of us struggle just to get our feet on the floor and find our way to the coffee pot.

Once we fill our mugs and start to wake up we face the reality of the emails chores and to do lists that must be dealt with for the day. We take a glance at the week at large and instantly begin to long for Friday already.

This morning was no different for me until I logged on to my computer and received the sweetest random compliment (Thank you L!) My negative mood took a turn for the positive side and my errands suddenly didn’t seem so humdrum anymore.

Sensor Wife

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-09-05T14:31:46-07:00

Sensor Wife
by Nicole Hanratty

Welcome to my morning.

As my husband and I stand in line one after the other waiting to fill our own coffee cups with fresh pressed coffee from my favorite appliance in the house, (our Miele cup by cup coffee maker that turns out six different flavors--decaf and regular--cappuccinos and espressos), I turned the dial to make my own personally programmed favorite cup of coffee.

My husband stands behind me, empty mug in hand, and asks, “Is the coffee maker actually still programmed for all of the different types of coffee capsules that are in it?”

“Of course,” Miss Organized informs.

Cereal Diet

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-08-28T14:25:02-07:00

Cereal Diet
by Nicole Hanratty

I know my mother in law is panicking right now thinking that I’m about to announce that I have served my husband nothing but cereal for the past week. I can see her and her sister-in-law, (thanks for being one of my most loyal readers Aunt Carol), on the phone right now trying to determine if they should call Husband Protective Services on me. But hold on to those casseroles you’re about to rush over, your son has been eating just fine.

(For all of my serial dieting friends, this one’s for you.)

Rise and shine it’s six a.m.; time to disrobe, hit the scale, and decide whether this an “Egg’s benedict with pancakes on the side, I can eat whatever I want” day or an “I’ll just have fruit” kind of a morning. Will you be shoveling down cheese dip with Tostitos for lunch, (thanks for sharing with me T), or licking the wrapper of your Fi-Bar for extra morsels?

20 Year Reunion Crashers

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-08-08T14:04:36-07:00

Reunion Crashers Left to Right:
Kristen Antillon, Heather Lipari and
NicoleHanratty,

20-Year Reunion Crashers
by Nicole Hanratty

Chatsworth High School Class of 1988 had their twenty-year high school reunion last Saturday night and yours truly was among the younger classman who crashed in on it.

How could I resist?

No. 1 My sister, who so lovingly toted her younger sister out and about with her to all of the fun parties, was in that class. I couldn’t miss seeing all those older boys I hung out with while avoiding the less cool guys my own age and her fun loving girlfriends who never left me out of the joke.

Absence Makes the Heart Grow More Appreciative

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-07-28T13:57:22-07:00

Absence Makes the Heart Grow More Appreciative
by Nicole Hanratty

There is one sure way to make your husband appreciate you ladies... Leave the house for a month and clear out your refrigerator before you say au revoir!

Yes, I did do that and yes it did prove my point.

I would like to send a special thanks to my mom and my mother-in-law for offering to do my husband’s laundry for him and prepare him meals. (Aren’t we girls supposed to stick together?)

Dog Flight

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-06-30T13:48:40-07:00

Dog Flight
by Nicole Hanratty

Family vacations are always fun! They really bring out the best in marriages. Find me a couple traveling with children and I’ll show you a husband and wife who are bickering over the responsibilities that go along with it. Throw a dog into the traveling mix and I’ll show you an all out battle.

Were it not against all laws of matrimony, the picture above would be of my loving husband asleep with his mouth wide open sitting on the plane totally oblivious to the world around him. Which brings me to the nice man who was, unfortunately for him, seated next to me and left to fill my hubby’s sleeping shoes.

Promotion At Work

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-06-23T13:42:54-07:00

Promotion at Work
by Nicole Hanratty

Dear all of my Rock Star friends,

I have such exciting news and I want to share it with all of my readers first! Rest assured that you are the first to read it, hear it and know it...

Yours truly has received a promotion! I am now and here forward the President of Household Operations of the Hanratty Residence!

Summertime Fun

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-06-20T13:30:51-07:00

Summertime Fun
by Nicole Hanratty

How many days, hours or minutes were your kids released from school and let out into the wild before you hammered them down with “The Lecture?” You know the one... “If this is how you’re going to act then I’m signing you up for ____(insert torturous activity, e.g. summer school, macrame, volunteer work)___ and shipping you off to ____(insert undesirable location, e.g. Great Grandma’s house, sleep away camp in Yuma, Arizona)___.

I like to keep a scratch count of how many times during the summer I actually reiterate that lecture. When my scratch count begins to resemble a never-ending picket fence on a long drive in the country, I usually decide it is time for one. I strap on my seatbelt and don’t look back...

Midlife Crisis

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-06-15T13:12:27-07:00

MidLife Crisis
by Nicole Hanratty

Okay, so I am a little behind, but I recently downloaded I Heart Huckabees from iTunes to my iPhone. If only I had watched this movie before I went through my first midlife crises... Darn it! Now, I have to go through it all over again!

What is so troubling about this existential comedy that has me all wound up? In a word, me! I think it is a problem when someone relates more to a movie than real life and in this film, I found myself wanting to jump in and embrace the characters as if they were my personal spiritual gurus. They made me think more about my own religious beliefs, (which, to be fair, is a cocktail concoction of some version of Judaism, Christianity and Yoga “Lite”), than five years of Catholic school ever did. Confused? Don’t worry, so is my family.

I Always Wanted To

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-05-27T13:03:45-07:00

I Always Wanted To...
by Nicole Hanratty

Every morning I wake up, run to the mirror and check to see if it is finally visible and obvious! But each day, I walk away confused and wondering why there is nothing noticeably different about me.

It has to be a mistake. Or, maybe, other people can see it and I just can’t. There absolutely must be some type of sign on my forehead that reads, “Hey Strangers! Please tell me everything you have always wanted to do, but never have!”

Idol Gives Back Bake Sale

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-05-21T12:54:28-07:00

Idol Gives Back Bake Sale
by Nicole Hanratty

Today’s school fundraiser is a bake sale for Idol Gives Back. It is a great cause and I am more than happy to tie on my apron and put my over-priced kitchen appliances to work! When I put on my Baker Extraordinaire Chef’s Hat there is no limit to what I can create but the number one request was for home made cupcakes.

Bedtime Routines

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-05-15T12:43:50-07:00

Bedtime Routines
by Nicole Hanratty

Ah, bedtime routines. They're not just for newborns...we all have them. In fact, through adulthood, many of us rely upon them to fall asleep and some of us simply can't operate without them.

In my house, I believe that our bedtime routines are so vital that they actually directly affect the cosmic pull of the earth's rotation. I am so superstitious about all of these Ground Hog Day things happening over and over again that I wait for them, watch for them and then, BAM! When they happen, I check them off my list one by one and am slowly reassured that all is right with the world...

Blending Fun

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-05-12T12:20:26-07:00

Denise Estrada, (Owner of Melange Apothecary), with producer Mimi Brown from Good Day LA Fox 11

Blending Fun
by Nicole Hanratty

To watch the video clip on Fox 11 at Melange
Apothecary:

Click Here

Some friends are worth a 5 a.m. wake up call and a lot of extra primping. I can’t think of very many people that could make me set my alarm clock for one minute earlier than my normal daily routine already requires, but Denise Estrada is definitely one of them.

Last Friday morning was an exercise in “How to feed the dependents, make the lunches, get through the carpool line, walk the dog, pluck your eyebrows, apply camera-ready make-up, work the hair into an acceptable style and slip into an outfit that doesn’t scream, ‘I’m dressed all wrong!’”

Spray On Tan

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-05-08T12:14:03-07:00

Spray On Tan
by Nicole Hanratty

With summer around the corner, a tan is vital to pulling off shorts, sundresses and tank tops without anyone being scared off by your ghostly white existence! The pressure is on to show up bronzed, but this wrinkle-a-phoebe doesn’t want to appear 80 before her time, so I booked the next available appointment at a swanky salon for a hand painted Spray-On Tan.

Never had one? I hadn’t either... and my guess is, I never will again.

Charity Function Mayhem

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-05-05T21:18:33-07:00

Charity Function Mayhem
by Nicole Hanratty

What could be more fun at a charity function than observing the “haves” put it all on the line for the “have-nots”? It’s certainly amusing to watch how the grown-ups behave when they get a night out to play...

What might you notice? Here’s my top ten checklist that hits the mark every time:

A Dog's Life Isn't So Bad

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-29T21:05:28-07:00

A Dog’s Life Isn’t So Bad
by Nicole Hanratty

Dog is such a complicated word. There are multiple expressions that utilize it with a variety of meanings. For example: being “a dog’s age” makes you ancient; “dogging it” is a cop out; “a dog’s life” is not an enviable one; “every dog has his day” gives us all hope that we may one day win the lottery; “letting sleeping dogs lie” is usually a wise decision; “going to the dogs” is a degenerative existence; “putting on the dog” shows off your wealth; while “teaching an old dog new tricks” forces us to break our old bad habits.

Bookshelf Personalities

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-28T20:59:45-07:00

Bookshelf Personalities
by Nicole Hanratty

What’s on your bookshelf? Dare to divulge? It might just give us an insight on your personality and let us know a little more about you than you may be willing to share.

Here’s how your personality might come through...

Charity, Earth Week and Klean Kanteens

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-24T20:51:02-07:00

Charity, Earth Week and Klean Kanteens
by Nicole Hanratty

What do Charities, Earth Week and Klean Kanteens have in common? I believe they all just might carry a bigger message that everyone should hear...

Last Friday night was a very elegant fundraising affair for Children’s Hospital Los Angeles. (Next time, someone please remind me to bring Kleenex!) The event raises money to support the hospital and brings in guest speakers, (children who have been there and benefited from this amazing facility), to break your heart and soften any stronghold you might have on your wallet. The illnesses children face seem absolutely overwhelming and unsolvable.

The Dodgers are Going All the Way

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-21T20:30:38-07:00

The Dodgers Are Going

All the Way This Year...

by Nicole Hanratty

The Dodgers beat the Pittsburgh Pirates last Wednesday night 8 to 1. (Here’s the whole scoop.)

It was the first Dodger game we attended this season and we loved every minute of it! First stop, new hat purchase. Second stop, Dodger Dogs. Third stop, the best seats in the house - compliments of my husband’s client.

Lunch at Geoffreys

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-18T20:23:34-07:00

Lunch at Geoffreys
by Nicole Hanratty

See and be seen at Geoffreys in Malibu. That’s where I was spotted this week escaping reality on a perfect afternoon. My two favorite friends swooped me down to the beach to a surprise destination that I couldn’t have enjoyed more. (Thank you Richel and Stacey!)

For starters, the view is amazing! If you order up the right day, you will be enjoying a beautiful afternoon and I guarantee you will not want to leave this haven. One hour lunches are simply not acceptable. A two hour minimum is required for full enjoyment, but really even those are just for newbies. Put on your sunglasses and stay awhile.

Now Moms Kick Soccer Moms Off the Field

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-11T20:13:42-07:00

Now Moms Kick Soccer

Moms off the Field
by Nicole Hanratty

A new generation of mothers is stepping onto the soccer field in support of their kids, and they are doing it in style. They are Now Moms, and they have a whole new attitude with a wardrobe to match.

Everywhere you look, Now Moms are coming up with ways to buck the trends set by their predecessors. They are no longer relating motherhood with dressing in unfashionable clothing. They aren’t driving boring minivans and they aren’t ruining everything. They aren’t forgetting what it was like to be a kid. They aren’t keeping their mouth shut about important topics like sex and drugs when it comes to educating their children. And, they aren’t cooking dinner every night. Sometimes, they’re ordering it online from their iphone.

Spring DVD Cleaning

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-09T20:03:53-07:00

Spring DVD Cleaning
by Nicole Hanratty

“My mother made me do it!” I can hear my child years from now relaying the whole incident in the therapist’s office...

Couched Child: “It was spring, 2008. My life was great and I really was so appreciative of everything my parents did for me. I always said thank you and I never asked for things in excess. I had to be, like, the dream child. So this one day, after I had done all of my chores; cleaned my room, made my bed, took out the trash, walked the dog, did the dishes and swept the floor in the kitchen, I thought I would approach my mom in a sweet loving way with a request for a new DVD. There was this movie that I wanted that I was dying to have! I had wanted it my whole life and I really thought that if I caught my mother on a good day she would say yes!”

Bag Quest 2008

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-07T19:56:54-07:00

Bag Quest 2008
by Nicole Hanratty

Whose Got the It Bag Now? The Bag Ladies, that’s who!

The Los Angeles Kings season finale seemed the perfect place for a group debut of the new Spring 2008 “It” bags. Yes, that’s me pictured above on the left with the impossible to obtain cement colored mesh fisherman style Giorgio Armani handbag that is more fabulous that you can believe! In the middle is gorgeous Stacey Uberstine with the absolutely perfect red colored Marina GM from the Monogram Mini Lin Croisette line by Louis Vuitton. To the far right is the stunning Richel Roggin with the to-die-for bronze colored Mahina by Louis Vuitton and hiding inside is the must-have matching wallet. These girls know how to shop for handbags and that makes them tops in my pocketbook!

There is no denying it, I choose my friends based on the purses they carry and the lengths they are willing to go through to obtain them. These two moms certainly make the cut and I’m sure you can see why… I’m not at liberty to divulge all the details of their Bag Quests, but I can tell you that a flight over a large body of water was involved!

Obtaining the “It” bag for spring is my recently discovered obsession. My personal purse motto is, “If you’re not stalking it, you’re not trying hard enough!” I’m on my best behavior all winter long earning Wonderful Wife points to justify every ounce of effort and expense that must be garnered into getting the beloved bag.

The Bag Quest begins in January. I start scouring the planet for the hot handbag that will be the envy of every fashionista I pass on the street. I am certifiably wild about it! I search every magazine, advertisement and catalog to spot what I hope will be the Bag of the Year. The Bag I can’t live without, the one I will track down and purchase at any price. The one people will stop me to ogle. The one cheap knock-offs will try to imitate.

When I finally spot it, I employ a top-secret operational plan of attack, which I cannot reveal for obvious competitive reasons. Warning: Do not try this at home. I have special training and contacts in the CIA.

When the call finally comes in that the purse is in the bag, I’ll stop at nothing to get it! Last year I left a birthday party early to wait at home to sign for the much-anticipated delivery. This year I called in a favor from my ex-husband (yes, Ex) and asked him to send his courier to pick it up for me. Every resource is called upon to get that handbag safely home to momma…

Who else is carrying my limited edition Armani “It” bag this year? Word on the street is it’s just a select lucky few along with some of our celebrity friends.

And when my husband asks me “How much did it cost?” I answer him honestly. “I really don’t know… When you find the bag of your dreams, price is irrelevant!” Then I see the look of disappointment in his face. Oops, I did it again. “I promise dear, next year I’ll ask how much before it is delivered.”

Au revoir for now…n

Copyright 2008 Nicole Hanratty

Watered Down

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-03T19:50:35-07:00

Watered Down
by Nicole Hanratty

With so many sayings about water, it would be a shame not to dig deeper into the well and find out what is it about this clear combination of chemicals that we drink up.

Important and flawless people, like my husband, can supposedly walk on water. (Hey, I need all the brownie points I can get!) Stubborn people are led to water but cannot be forced to take in what is obviously good for them. (Kids not eating their veggies?) A forgiven disagreement is said to be water under the bridge. Translation: A compassionate husband understanding the American Express bill balance... Sorry dear, I know sometimes I spend money like water. Weak assertions are not strong enough not to hold water. (“We’re just friends!” Yeah, right.) Water and oil don’t mix. (Could this be a reference to In-Laws?) And everyone knows loyalty goes to the kin because blood is thicker than water. (Don’t even think of hurting someone in my family or you’ll be in hot water...)

Carpool Rules To Drive By

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-04-02T19:28:25-07:00

Carpool Rules to Drive By
by Nicole Hanratty

Careful all you kiddy carpool drivers there are strict rules that govern these lines and if you break them you risk expulsion!

While they may seem obvious to most of us, occasionally they need to be spelled out clearly (or passed out on fliers) and reviewed so that none of us gets into any trouble for being in violation.

Spring Break Maui

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-03-30T19:18:54-07:00

Spring Break Maui
by Nicole Hanratty

Spring Break 2008 my crew hit Maui taking over every inch of the resort with our commanding presence. With a pail full of prescription drugs, we were a motley crew of three families with more dysfunction than function and we laughed our way through five days of fun.

In true Rock Star fashion, we had private cabanas rented all over the property and squatters who took over them every time we headed for a dip in the pool. Someone call security! “Yes, it’s us again...” Silly me, I always interpreted reserved signs as meaning “Someone Paid a Lot of Money for This Chair” but apparently others see them as “Remove Sign, Move Chair Two Feet and Call It Your Own.”

Footloose

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-03-17T19:13:37-07:00

Footloose
by Nicole Hanratty

If only I were the barefoot type. My husband would be so thrilled! Unfortunately for him, I’m all about shoes.

You can’t keep me from buying them, (although my adoring husband sure does try) and you will rarely, if ever, see me barefoot. Even at home, I pad around in shoes or slippers. This Diva can’t stand the feeling of a cold floor on her feet or any particle that might be found in the crevices of her path. Call me a princess but shoes are never far from my soles!

The Way I See It

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-03-11T19:08:20-07:00

The Way I See It
by Nicole Hanratty

Good morning coffee drinkers! I know you’re up, caffeinated and ready to start the day.

Here’s a little something for you to nibble on while you pour that next cup.

Recently I completed a pain-staking study* contemplating the different types of coffee drinkers** and I am just brewing to share my very unscientific non-factual completely not concrete findings*** with you!****

Bikini Season Has Begun

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-03-09T18:58:44-07:00

Bikini Season Has Begun
by Nicole Hanratty

FYI! Bikini Days 2008 have begun! And, from now ‘til October, there’s no other outfit I’d rather wear! I’ll be shopping for one cute suit for every day of the week and two for Saturdays, (one for the sand and one for late night hot tubbing!)

I know not everyone gets to spend their Sundays lunching by the Pacific Ocean, feeling the hot sun, refreshing breeze and sand between their toes, but I did today. Lucky me! There’s no place finer than Malibu’s own Paradise Cove to spend a beautiful perfect spring day. The overly crowded beach is a great reminder that summer is just around the corner. Are you ready?

Save the Socks

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-03-06T18:49:20-08:00

Save the Socks
by Nicole Hanratty

Ah... laundry day. Fresh hot out of the dryer comes a clean pair of socks. One seems to have a little hole in the sole, the other doesn’t. Should you toss the whole pair? Save the good one in case you are ever in need of an extra? Or roll their tops together and quietly sneak them back into the drawer? (After all, a little extra ventilation never hurt anybody, did it?)

Before you judge, open your own sock drawers. Go ahead! Look through all of them. I dare you. I guarantee you will find at least one sock with holes in it!

Weather Wars

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-03-03T18:20:15-08:00

Weather Wars
By Nicole Hanratty

It’s always fun to brag about the great weather that we have in Southern California to my not so lucky cousins that live with freezing cold temperatures, ice, sleet and snow! They are always jealous when at this time of year we are enjoying 80 degree weather with blue skies, while they are still shoveling out their driveways... Who needs seasons anyway?

I really like to rub it in by sending photos of myself at the beach, driving in a convertible, applying sunscreen, BBQing in the backyard, donning shades and even an umbrella to keep the warm sun off of my back!

Parenting Without Panic

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-28T17:53:51-08:00

Parenting Without Panic

By Nicole Hanratty

It has to be said right off, that I am borrowing this title, “Parenting without Panic,” from a seminar advertised on a local high school’s upcoming events board.

Now most people would drive by a sign like this and think, “Very appropriate in today’s time. I might have to check that out.” I drive by a sign like this and think, “There’s my next article!”

So, without further ado, it is my pleasure to announce the winner of this year’s Best Example of an Oxymoron!

Summer Camp: It's Not Just For Kids Anymore

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-26T17:44:37-08:00

Summer Camp: It’s Not

Just For Kids Anymore

by Nicole Hanratty

How many more weeks until summer vacation? My whole household is counting down already. We have passed the midway point of school this year and we are all anxious to sleep in, ignore the alarm clocks and run our own show.

If you’re a parent, it’s not too early to start working on your children’s Summer Camp Checklist. And remember, summer camp is not just for kids anymore.

And the Winner is...

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-24T17:34:42-08:00

And the Winner is...
by Nicole Hanratty

All dressed up in my favorite winter white outfit, I was out for the night at a glamorous Hollywood style Academy Awards viewing party. The “Celebrity Parking Only” sign held my spot in the driveway and cameras were flashing as I entered the party in my own mind.

Kids were running the show and the High School Musical Wii game was going strong on the big screen! Can anyone else feel our pain?

Lysol Queen Goes Crazy

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-21T17:28:52-08:00

Lysol Queen Goes Crazy
by Nicole Hanratty

Tonight on the eleven o’clock news... After a brutal flu season, a local mother starts out with the intent of sanitizing her home but “allegedly” the fumes go to her head.

(cue music) Good evening everyone!

They’re calling her the “Lysol Queen.” Officers said when they arrived at her home last night the woman admitted to “Lysol”ing her house non-stop for twelve hours straight.

It started with the couch that her husband had been attached to for four days, then she moved on to door knobs, bathroom fixtures, kitchen appliance handles and she couldn’t bring herself to stop.

Simple Needs

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-19T17:18:55-08:00

Simple Needs
by Nicole Hanratty

Careful...winter is almost over and spring is around the corner. Before you know it will be time to emerge from the gloomy weather chipper with cheer. Will you be ready? Mental health check; are you meeting your own simple needs?

I’m not referring to the new Louis Vuitton Bellevue PM bag that is on your shopping list either... Although it is fabulous!

Simple needs are those pesky little things that don’t seem like a priority when we have so many other things to accomplish, schedules to keep and demands to meet.

Road Rage

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-16T17:13:58-08:00

Road Rage
by Nicole Hanratty

Personally, I don’t have any Road Rage. But there are certain things I just can’t understand...

For instance, what happened to common courtesy and letting people change lanes so they can exit the freeway?

Why am I getting honked at when I’m stopped waiting for a pedestrian to cross the street? They do still have the right away last time I checked.

Why are people so hesitant to turn left at arrow signals? Green means go! Heck, even a little yellow means go! How many of these signals do I have to sit through? Should I get out a book?

Valentine's Day

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-14T17:00:12-08:00

Valentine’s Day
by Nicole Hanratty

Oh yes! It’s Lovey Dovey Buggy Month and you know I can’t resist sharing my two arrows.

Are you a member of the Lonely Hearts Club Band, the I Just Can’t Get Enough Infatuation Club, or the We Just Disagree Debate Team? LifeofaRockStar.net wants to know... Me? I wear my team colors with pride!

Lunch, Anyone?

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-11T16:48:04-08:00

Lunch Anyone?
by Nicole Hanratty

As I rifle through the laundry basket over-loaded with dirty clothes (clothes: |klō(ð)z| cotton items my husband forgot how to wash the day we said “I do”), I wish upon my ironing board for a day of luxurious retreat.

S'il vous plaît aidez moi! Someone needs a day of sitting without demands!

Hmmm... Lunch anyone?

Needed: Co-conspiratorial indulgent women up for a mindless afternoon! No thinking required.

Mom, MD

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-08T16:11:13-08:00

Mom, M.D.
by Nicole Hanratty

I love the phone calls from school that start, “Mrs. Hanratty, I don’t want to alarm you, but...” Forget it. You already have.

Does anyone know if Ebay sells manuals for children? Mine seem to be missing... And right about now, I could really use one.

What scares me the most is the relief on the face of school personnel when I show up, as if I have all the answers! “I’m just a mom,” I think to myself in a panic. “I don’t know what to do!”

Hooked

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-07T16:02:17-08:00

Hooked
by Nicole Hanratty

Where’s Peter Pan when you need him? Spotted playing hooky and goofing off yesterday, I was caught by Captain Hook himself!

A day at Disneyland…not so priceless. I could be seen shelling out dollars like they were valueless (oh, that’s right, they practically are these days...), treating my family to a day of bliss.

Feeding them like there was no Tomorrowland. Exactly how many Churros are too many?

Did You Get the Hash Browns?

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-05T15:49:55-08:00

Did You Get the Hash Browns?

by Nicole Hanratty

It’s seven a.m. My day started two hours ago. (Self-imposed; no need for violins.) But any minute now, my adorable husband will return home from the gym, open the refrigerator and ask me, “Did you get the hash browns yet?” I will have to reply, “No.”

Yes, it is true; we have been out of them for over a week. But I have not been to the Hash Brown Market in over a week. (Fever, flu, strep throat- but really, no excuses please!) His sad face will make me feel guilty as if I don’t do anything else during the day and I really have no valid reason for not providing him with his beloved hash browns.

But this is really just the tip of the iceberg. My shortcomings fall so much greater than this.

Here is a list of other things I have not yet done:

Superbowl Super Lessons

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-02-04T15:39:42-08:00

Super Bowl Super Lessons
by Nicole Hanratty

Follow me fans! Red isn’t just the color of Giants anymore, it’s the color of winners. Super Bowl XLII put New York’s Giants on top, leaving the Patriots lonely with a single solitary season loss. (Awww... Don’t worry! I’m sure someone will be willing to keep Mr. Brady warm at night.)

Super Bowl Sunday was a hard knock day full of lingering lessons. For those of you who were too busy watching the game and not paying any attention, here is a summary from my mental notebook:

When Mom Goes Down

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-01-27T14:53:21-08:00

When Mom Goes Down
by Nicole Hanratty

When I get sick, I often dream of placing a Help Wanted Ad. It reads: Ailing mother in need of a full time chauffeur, cook, laundress, maid, butler and personal assistant. Salary Non-negotiable, Hugs and Kisses Only.

Then I lay in bed and reason that I don’t have to get up. The dog doesn’t have to be fed, the kids don’t have to go to school, and the laundry doesn’t have to be done. We could get by one more day without bread...

Last Day of the Month

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-01-31T14:45:45-08:00

Last Day of the Month
by Nicole Hanratty

Calling all coupons! Just a few shopping hours left before your valuable coupons expire...from December, that is!

I just love the boutique clothing stores that issue ten percent of your spending coupons for use the following month. Not aware of this practice? Okay, for those of you who have been living on Mars, here’s an example. Let’s say in December you purchased a few gifts, a pair of jeans for yourself, (well who can resist a little “gift to moi” during the holidays?) and your total came to $500. The store would have issued you a $50 coupon for use in the following month of January. Brilliant isn’t it? M.frederic will even call you to remind you that you have the money to spend!

Carpool Drama

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-01-27T14:37:03-08:00

Carpool Drama
by Nicole Hanratty

This just in... School Carpool - a hotspot for drama! Bleary eyed mom’s do morning drive by hello waves, catching some and avoiding others. Watch out though, that innocent wave hello or lack thereof could be misconstrued. A turn of the head, a major snub.

Every morning and every afternoon, school parking lots and carpool lines bring about the very best and the very worst in those who navigate them.

Outfits are judged. “What is she wearing, anyway?” “Could that tennis skirt be any shorter?” “Didn’t she just wear that last week?” “Are those her only jeans?” “I always wear four inch heels to drop off my child...” “Oh, for the love of God, who does she think she’s kidding? Hasn’t she heard the rule? No mini skirts after age 35.” “Does she own that same Juicy sweat outfit in every color? (Lucky!)”

Catch Me On a Good Day

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-01-28T14:24:15-08:00

Catch Me on a Good Day...
by Nicole Hanratty

I would love to tell all of my loyal readers that my life is fabulous every single day and that it is action packed filled with excitement and glamour. Even better would be to tell you all that I wake up every day with a brilliant smile on my face ready to tackle the world. Au contraire, my friends! Au contraire! My life is a polarized fusion of savoir faire and banality.

On any given day you could catch me doing any or all of the following in my husband’s self-envisioned french maid’s uniform: cleaning up the dog’s homemade special gifts left just for lucky me to clean up in the backyard; patronizing not one but three markets I’m required to frequent each week to accommodate the particular appetites/food allergies in my ingredient-challenged family; ironing extra crisp creases in the ever-looming laundry pile; restocking perfumed soaps (melangeapothecary.com) in the washrooms; tackling stacks of mail (i.e. bills) trying to organize my overtaxed desk; running four thousand errands none of which are for my own personal benefit; and carrying around my aforementioned dog who can’t stand to be without me for even a moment while I perform aforementioned chores.

Living the Life of a Rock Star™

CommentBox@NicoleHanratty.com — 2008-01-25T13:12:00-08:00

Living the Life of a Rock Star...
by Nicole Hanratty

Ever wonder why, as a mother, you can spend 20 minutes on a Saturday morning standing in front of your husband and daughter trying to engage in conversation with no response until you walk away to use the bathroom?

“Knock! Knock! Knock!” Someone is pounding on the bathroom door as if it can’t wait.
“Is somebody bleeding?” I holler as I instantly revert back to my camp counselor days.
“No, but I just wanted to tell you Mommy that next week at school I want hot lunch on Tuesday.”
“Okay honey. I’ll jot that down on a tiny piece of toilet paper.”
“Knock! Knock! Knock!”
“Yeeeessss....” Now I have realized my fate.
“Oh, honey, you’re in there,” my husband responds as if he has just discovered me after a long journey.
I mean really, if I’m not in the kitchen or the laundry room, where else would I be?