Kettle One is for the Dogs
January/13/2009 12:42 PM Filed in: Weekend | Nicole Hanratty | Holiday | Life of a Rock Star | Dogs | Travel | Humor | Satire
Kettle One is for the Dogs
by Nicole Hanratty
I’m so done. The holidays are over, I can leave my house without worrying about whether or not I need a gift for anyone I’m about to see and I’ve jumped off of the Fall Holiday Wheel of Events that belongs in my nephews’ hamster cage purchased for their birthdays which they promptly returned after realizing hamsters poop.
January brings sanity, a return to my favorite routines and normalcy. We reclaim our weekends from family commitments and holiday cheer; they are once again free for us to use them as we choose. Read More...
Bernanke On Main Street
October/01/2008 02:50 PM Filed in: Satire | Humor | Life of a Rock Star | Nicole Hanratty | Main Street | Husbands
by Nicole Hanratty
Last Sunday, in an unpredictable turn of events, a Main Street Mom--inspired by none other than Ben Bernanke himself--took over the Command Control Remote in an historic move to seize the malfunctioning operating system and restore a sense of confidence in its ability to proceed fairly.
The acquired asset catapulted her into the position of “Couch Commander,” and there was nothing anyone--not even the House of Representatives--could do to salvage the situation or bail Main Street out of this crisis. Read More...
Bedtime Routines
May/15/2008 12:43 PM Filed in: Dogs | Bedtime | Nicole Hanratty | Husbands | Life of a Rock Star | Humor | Satire
by Nicole Hanratty
Ah, bedtime routines. They're not just for newborns...we all have them. In fact, through adulthood, many of us rely upon them to fall asleep and some of us simply can't operate without them.
In my house, I believe that our bedtime routines are so vital that they actually directly affect the cosmic pull of the earth's rotation. I am so superstitious about all of these Ground Hog Day things happening over and over again that I wait for them, watch for them and then, BAM! When they happen, I check them off my list one by one and am slowly reassured that all is right with the world... Read More...
A Dog's Life Isn't So Bad
April/29/2008 09:05 PM Filed in: Pets | Dogs | Nicole Hanratty | Life of a Rock Star | Humor | Satire
by Nicole Hanratty
Dog is such a complicated word. There are multiple expressions that utilize it with a variety of meanings. For example: being “a dog’s age” makes you ancient; “dogging it” is a cop out; “a dog’s life” is not an enviable one; “every dog has his day” gives us all hope that we may one day win the lottery; “letting sleeping dogs lie” is usually a wise decision; “going to the dogs” is a degenerative existence; “putting on the dog” shows off your wealth; while “teaching an old dog new tricks” forces us to break our old bad habits. Read More...
